I’ve read a lot of books that instruct us on how to accept who we are, how to unwind from the stresses of life, and how to love ourselves.
The challenge with self-help, is that the concepts are simple to understand but challenging to put into practice.
The bridge between theory and practicality goes a long way.
According to a proverb, “Everyone has 24 hours. If you want to do something, you will find a way to do it. If you don’t, you will find an excuse.”
This is one of the self-help quotes that I detest the most.
I do think that having a strong will should spur you on to remove any roadblocks. I do believe that a task should be at the top of your priority list and completed eventually if it is essential enough.
However, there are times in life when we aren’t even given the option to decide what to prioritize. Our schedule is completely packed with the obligations of life.
Moms Who Do Not Excercise
“When you and your brother were little, taking care of you two already took up all 24 hours of my waking day. There is taking you to kindergarten, then there is feeding your brother. I also have a day job. I don’t have as much time now that you are all grown up – to start working out. Those days were as exhausted as much as it could be, and no other workout could have leveraged my mood nor it could be possible.”
My mom said, much to my sudden realization. I had been contended that she should have exercised back when we were youngsters so that now she doesn’t have that much chronic pain. At that time, all I could think of was that she was coming up with reasons not to workout. I overlooked how tough it is to be a mother of two.
This goes beyond the individual’s story. On a larger scale, I believe we hold the ingrained attitude that it is merely someone’s fault and laziness if they are not doing something; as if dedication and passion could resolve every issue on Earth.
The Scholarship that Never Gets Its Way to the Recipients
The experience of applying into universities completely changed how I think about scholarships, especially merit one.
Merit scholarships are something that, in my opinion, frequently falls short of expectations. With the exception of a select few, those who need it the most rarely receive it. Students who struggle to make ends meet must contend with financial pressures on a daily basis, let alone finding the time to concentrate intently on their studies, extracurricular activities, or initiatives that will enhance their resumes. And as a results, they never make it pass the entrance round.
I’ve met people who are so occupied that they don’t even consider applying.
As Rutger Bregman notes in his book “Utopia For Realists”:
Consequently, a whole array of programs goes all but unused by the very people they are meant to benefit. “Some scholarships are applied for by only 30% of those who qualify,” says Shafir, “despite the fact that study after study has shown that such a scholarship, of thousands of dollars, can make all the difference.” An economist looks at these scholarships and thinks: Since applying is the rational thing to do, poor students will apply. But that’s not how it works. The fruits of the scholarship fall well outside the tunnel vision of the scarcity mindset.
The Dutch historian suggests that, in addition to scarcity as defined by economics, there is another perspective of scarcity known as “scarcity mentality.” Whether it’s a lack of time, money, companionship, or food, it all adds to this way of thinking. And, while people with this thinking have an excellent capacity to handle short-term difficulties (i.e. make ends meet), their long-term, equally vital viewpoint is sometimes overlooked.
“If you want to understand the poor, imagine yourself with your mind elsewhere,” they write. “Self-control feels like a challenge. You are distracted and easily perturbed. And this happens every day.” This is how scarcity – whether of time or of money – leads to unwise decisions.
Rutger Bregman, “Utopia For Realists”
There’s a key distinction though between people with busy lives and those living in poverty: You can’t take a break from poverty.
Fortunately, we still have other forms of scholarships and grants, such as need-based ones. But it takes a while before educational institutions, companies, and philanthropists alike realize there is a mismatch between their good intentions and the reality of the situation.
Behind the Genius
One of the most exclusive high schools in Hanoi is where my brother, a math major, attends high school. He has won a good deal of prizes and distinctions in a variety of math contests. Much like many of his schoolmates, he spends a great deal of time learning and understanding mathematical ideas.
His story as well as his peers’ helps me to comprehend the background of the country’s Labor Medalists and the IMO Gold Medalists.
More or less, purposeful practice with intense attention is required to produce worthwhile work or growth. Especially for fundamental sciences like mathematics – they necessitate a significant amount of effort and deep focus, as they involve complex problem-solving, abstract thinking, and the application of logical reasoning to understand and master intricate concepts. You should see how angry he gets when I accidentally interrupt him when he is working diligently to answer a math problem.
But how can you afford that gigantic block of time while you need to look after for your siblings, have part-time work, and take care of chores all the time? How can you establish a deep focus when every five minutes there is something that demands your attention?
That is the luxury that the medalists can afford, in one way or another.
Without recognizing any of the sacrifice and assistance made in the background, we frequently laud the genius and give him or her all the credit.
I’ve always wondered why writers usually dedicate their books to their family in the first pages. But now I understand why.
Just another time you see a champion on the celebration panel, remember that there may be somebody who completes all of the household duties and preparing meals so they may afford the time commitment necessary to develop a talent.